Balance

Balance.

It was required. It was essential. It was his duty, his heritage, his inheritance. His father had kept the balance, as well as his grandfather. His grandfather's father had received the mantle of the Eye of Twilight with pride. His father received it and brought honor upon the family name, and his father was the very first Eye of Twilight.

It was more than a title, it was a duty. A duty to family, to the Kinkou, to Valoran. It was their way of life, an unquestioned tradition.

His ancestors had battled chaos, the shadow, and countless foes that would disrupt their unchanging way of life. Wielding their greatest weapon, the Eye of Twilights defeated the numerous opponents they faced in combat.

Balance.

It ensured that no emotions would interfere with their work, their duty. It allowed them to show restraint when dealing with even the most hated of villains, mete out swift justice to wrongdoers, protect those that were unable to protect themselves, and when necessary, deal a lethal blow to those that would seek to disrupt the harmony.

Balance.

It wasn't making sure that one side was dominating the other, it was… equity. The Eye of Twilight merely ensured that each respective faction stayed within their boundaries, and that they weren't encroaching upon each other's. For example, the shadow was banned, not because it was evil, but because the shadow allowed its practitioners to overpower the balance.

Balance.

It was their creed, their duty, their way of life, the very fiber of their being.

It was what their culture was based on, their very lifestyle. His forefathers had taken up the mantle without question, not allowing their wants, needs and desires to interfere with their duty, their destiny.

Like his ancestors, had spent his whole life preparing for the day he would succeed his father and inherit the responsibility, the privilege of being the Eye of Twilight. He had meditated daily, separate from the other children. He endured constant physical exertion, always being pushed to his limits, stretching them even further. He had gone under rigorous mental exercises; it was imperative that the Eye of Twilight would not allow his personal gripes and feelings to cause conflict within.

He was always on edge, always tested, never allowed even the briefest respite. He had to be prepared for anything; he had to be ready to right the balance at a moment's notice.

He had passed, doing exceptionally well. He had been exalted as being even more in tune with balance than even his father, previously heralded as the greatest Eye of Twilight ever in the Ninja Order.

He was emotionless, immovable, and resolute. He did what was necessary, never batting an eyelid.

But recently he had been feeling… conflicted. Conflicted between his duty and a certain comrade he had fought side by side with since his earliest memories.

In order to satisfy his need for answer he began to ask questions.

What was balance?

If one wanted the dictionary definition, they would be informed that it was an "equal distribution of weight, amount."

But what was balance really? Specifically, what was balance in the real world?

If one was to ask him a week before he would reply," Balance is the fair distribution of power."

Emotion, apathy. Cold, hot. Earth, water. Fire, ice. Wet, dry. Forest, desert. Evil, good. Light, shadow. Life, death. Male, female.

They all represented power. Some people utilized them physically, or had the ability to control them. Others merely fought for that power they held or believed in. Still others personified their qualities. But they all had one thing in common, they had a counterbalance. Even power had a counterpart, in the form of weakness.

Balance.

Flashback

He sat in his room, his legs crossed and his palms pressed against one another. He breathed deeply, feeling the air rushed through his nostrils, its scent altered by his mask. It was a much needed meditation session as he recently he had started to feel emotions that he had tried to bury long ago… Emotions concerning a certain female Kinkou member.

Balance must be maintained. You must meditate further to purge these thoughts from your mind.

He heard the paper door slide open, the soft thumps of a pair of boots being set down on the wooden floor, and the pattering of clothed feet as they crossed the wooden floor.

He felt the wooden planks that made up the floor bend, almost imperceptibly, underneath the weight of the visitor.

The visitor was light, stealthy, and was certainly part of the Triumvirate. Though Kennen wouldn't have been wearing boots, leaving only one option. It also helped that she had a distinct… smell that was pleasant, reminding him of roses and lilacs. His heart skipped a beat as he realized who it was.

"I see you have something on your mind."

He felt the wooden floor shift a little as his female partner shifted as she moved about.

Opening his eyes for the first time in half an hour he found that Akali was staring down at her legs, her mouth uncovered. Her hair was tied back in the typical fashion, her ponytail swishing this way and that as her head moved to the left and right as she shifted nervously under his intense gaze.

"I see that it is a personal matter. Do you wish to talk about it?"

Akali whispered," Yes."

He tilted his head, the only physical sign that he was perplexed. Akali was a fiercely independent woman, never allowing anyone, especially males, to talk down to her. She had the skills and the weapons to back up her independence, and many wishful suitors, including Champions and Summoners, felt a little less like a man when she dealt with their… instincts.

She had fought beside him for his whole life, never backing down, always fighting hard, giving her all for the Kinkou. The sight of a timid Akali sent shockwaves through his body, and ignited a fierce protectiveness for this woman he didn't know he had.

He ignored it, attributing it to their lengthy friendship and asked," What happened? Who did this to you?" He added a little more anger into the second sentence, more than he had meant to.

Akali's head snapped up, searching his eyes for something, anything that might give her a clue as to what was going through his mind.

Did she just imagine the hint of anger in his tone? Was he… was he concerned?

Stomping out the fires that were lit inside him he repeated," What happened? There must be a reason for you to be so timid."

"There is," she began, shifting uncomfortably as she looked to the side," but it is… uncomfortable to talk about."

He felt the fires of rage beginning to burn brightly; the heat they gave off was rushing through his veins, causing them to pulsate against the cloth that covered his body head to toe.

"Who is it that did this to you?" he chose his tone of voice carefully, taking care to keep his emotions in check. Were it not for the seriousness of the situation, he would have been baffled about the sudden emotional rollercoaster he was riding.

The Fist of Shadow began to shuffle awkwardly as he continued to stare at her, willing her to voice her problems to him.

"You were busy meditating," she began, rising from the floor," perhaps it would be better for me to leave you in peace." Akali began to make her way to the door when she was suddenly yanked backwards.

Emitting a shocked cry she found herself on her knees in front of her male counterpart, who was currently drilling a hole through her skull with his burning gaze.

"Fist of Shadow, it is my duty to maintain the balance within the Kinkou order, which includes you. Now tell me what it is that is bothering you."

Akali made to move towards the door, a plan of escape already formulating within her mind when she was jerked backwards again and placed in his lap, his forearms surrounding her as he held her in place.

His hot breath brushed her face as he leaned down and spoke, his words a thin veil concealing the chaotic explosion of emotion within.

Akali on the other hand felt her body freeze, her mind frozen. She had thought of this for so long, fantasizing about this in the dead of night. She felt her body erupt, flames licking at every inch of her body, an inferno engulfing her.

"I won't ask you again. Tell me." His voice was commanding as always, but its usual emotionless quality was tainted by a hint of anger and dare she imagine, concern? It was a nice change.

Shaking off her thoughts she stuttered," It's-it's… it has something to do with…"

He watched her with growing concern. Akali was never this nervous, this timid. She never stuttered. Something traumatic must have happened for her to be this emotional.

Forcing his voice to remain calm he asked," Does it have something to do with a man?"

"Y-y-yes…"

His heart constricted, and he struggled to keep himself from crushing Akali through the anger he was experiencing. His anger increased as he noticed a bruise on her arm.

Snatching up her milky white arm he examined the bruise. It was purple, standing out against her fair skin. Feeling his jaw clench he struggled to loosen it in order to speak.

"Who did this to you?"

"It's nothing, I was just training."

"Fist of Shadow, I do not appreciate being lied to. Who did this to you?"

Akali glared at him with a rage in her eyes," Do you think that I would lie to you of all people?" She demanded.

His tongue writhed about in his mouth as he tried to formulate a reply, all of his rage disappearing, being replace by his growing concern and relief.

"Then what happened? How did you hurt yourself so while training?"

"I… I bruised myself."

Akali's eyes dropped as she looked down, nervousness immediately taking the place of her anger.

He was dumbstruck. How, why did she do such a thing?

"Why would you do something like this?" he asked. He felt a hint of the rage he felt earlier burning inside of his chest.

"It's because of…" she stopped, debating on whether or not to look up at him while she explained herself to him.

He made the decision for her as he forced her gaze upwards, his eyes boring into her own.

"Why?"

She paused, staring into his brilliant yellow eyes as she struggled to break out of her trance and answer her leader.

"Why?"

Startled by the vehemence in his inquiry she jumped a little in his grasp. She noticed the immediate change in his eyes, which were all but glowing before had faded to a softer yellow, reminding her of the sun on a dreary day. Although he didn't say it, she could tell that he was sorry. It made her heart jump into her throat; maybe she had a chance after all.

"It's because of you."

He was stunned, his tongue laying still in his mouth. If he wasn't wearing his mask, she would have noticed that his mouth was open slightly.

"Me?" He immediately felt self-loathing. "How did I cause this?"

"I was… I was… thinking about you while I was training."

"What were you thinking about?"

She hesitated momentarily, and he felt the cold grip of fear grab hold of his heart.

"About touching your face."

He blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Of all the horrible answers that immediately came to mind, this, these four words never came to mind. And yet, those four words paralyzed him, inducing a mixture of emotions as volatile and as a varied as they come.

"What?"

Akali cleared her throat. It was as she feared. "I was thinking about you in a more… personal manner than normal. More personal than our friendship… The word intimate comes to mind."

He felt as if his brain had melted. She wanted to be intimate with him?

"Fist of Shadow," his brain shut down and his emotions were immediately restrained, his training taking over," you know that cannot be allowed."

"I know," she replied tersely, her hopes being ground into dust the longer she spoke with him.

"I must not allow anything personal to interfere with my work."

As soon as he uttered that sentence he slapped himself mentally. He had chosen to include the word personal. Of all that was balanced, why did he choose that word?

Akali noticed that immediately as well, her head snapping back upwards so she could face him.

He had moved his gaze upwards, staring at the door so as to avoid looking at her.

"I think it best you leave." He said quietly.

Akali hissed, she knew she hadn't misheard him.

"Why can't you let go of your responsibilities for once, Shen?"

His back stiffened as she uttered his name.

"It is improper for you to refer to me by my first name, Fist of Shadow."

"You're always so formal, so traditional Shen," she snarled, her eyes burning. "Why must you always adhere to your duties?"

"You already know why. Balance must be preserved."

"Shen, have you ever thought about balancing yourself?"

"What do you mean by that, Fist of Shadow. I am the Eye of Twilight, balance is law."

"But you aren't balanced. If you truly believe in balance, answer this, what counteracts balance?"

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He just stared as Akali shoved his now lax arms away from her torso, put on her boots and left his room.

Flashback Ends

Balance.

Nothing counteracted balance except imbalance, the very force he fought against.

The paradoxical philosophy had engrossed him ever since he had come upon this revelation. This epiphany had come to him not a week before, when his female companion had decided to… reveal her feelings for him.

He had always… assumed? No, believed that balance was the only way. And he still did. But that would mean that he would have to introduce a bit more… imbalance to his life.

But that was… impossible. He couldn't…. he couldn't possibly…. Could he?

This brought him back to his original question, what was balance? Or perhaps the more accurate question would be, how is balance decided?

Is it split up between the masses? With half the world being good and the other half being evil? No, that wasn't it… It was more complex than that. People were… they were like potions. Different mixtures of many different things, with some of their qualities more prominent, more abundant than others. It may seem chaotic at first, but in the long run, it all equaled out.

Balance.

No one person could be purely evil or purely good, it was just impossible. Too many variables, too many scenarios, too much… human nature.

He stood up unsteadily. Meditation wasn't doing him any good, so he might as well go do something else to keep himself busy. After all, idle hands were the devil's, weren't they?

Dammit, keep it together.